I’m sure a lot of you are wondering, “How can I improve my singleness if I’m not single?” Wellll…I’m so glad you asked! A lot of beautiful brides go into the Chapel and come out a whole different person; they become, “The Wife of…” and lose all traces of their natural identity. After trying so hard to be the perfect wife to their new hubby, they find themselves unknowingly looking for completion in him, when completion only comes from God.
“God will complete -Your Incompletion”
Feeling like you’re the only one? Well don’t! According to Psychoanalyst Beverly Engel, author of “Loving Him Without Losing Yourself,” she calls it the Disappearing Woman. This my dear is what tends to happen when you have merged your life so much with your partner that you lose yourself; or lose your relationship from smothering. The false belief that you have to toss away all of your interest and passions to make marriage work is absurd. I truly believe that both lives can be blended beautifully! Will it be easy? Nothing in life that’s worth keeping is…however with dedication, prayer & balance it has been proven that you can keep your awesome marriage WITHOUT losing your authentic self.
So how do you Improve your singleness while being married? Check out these 10 awesome tips and get the improving!
#1. Get you some business! There’s nothing more attractive than a woman that has her own thang going on. While respecting your bonding time, be sure to have a hobby or special interest of your own that you can enjoy as well.
#2. Practice self-love. It’s extremely hard for hubby to love you if you don’t know how to love yourself! And trust me, he will gain a new respect for you once he sees you targeting this tip!
#3. Stay on your “A” game…literally! Take up a class or learn a new language. Always welcome new opportunities to improve yourself; just be sure to keep a balance so that you are not adding too much to your plate…being overwhelmed is not the idea.
#4. Get your Reading game up! Yes reading! This is an awesome way to improve your singleness! Not only are you showing him that you have your own interest, you are stimulating your mind and practicing self-care.
#5. Get you some supportive girl friends! Yes I know you guys have mutual friends now…cool; but get you some supportive good girlfriends that you know are not going to disrespect your marriage boundaries, but instead they can do life with you and encourage you when needed. You don’t want to pour all your vent mess into your hubby (after a while he’s gonna think you’re cray cray lol) So find you some awesome ladies to level up with!
#6. Try new things. Live a little! Just because you’re married doesn’t mean you can’t have a passion for life!
#7. Keep yourself in shape! Stay active. Let him see you sweat a little. Especially if you were into fitness before marriage.
#8. Chase your dream! God planted that dream in your gut for a reason not for a season. Include your spouse! Share your passion with him and welcome him into your World.
#9. Embrace your authentic self! Take time to journal and embrace who God created you to be. All of the little things that make you YOU; find joy in life and talk with your spouse about your new found likes and or dislikes.
#10. Be ok with alone time. The more you get to know you, or rekindle that relationship with self, the more enjoyable alone time will be. There may be some times when your spouse has some things going on in his own singleness; you have to learn how to be ok with spending time with YOU!
Now remember ladies, all of these improvement tips require balance! I’m not advising you to isolate yourself in your marriage or cross any marriage boundaries; I simply don’t want you to lose your beautiful self in the making! If you would like to talk more on this subject, schedule your one on one session today!
Article By: BiancaLynnette