“When it all falls down…Beating Yourself Up vs. Building Yourself Up!”

I don’t know about you but I can honestly admit that I’m my worse critic.  I do a pretty good job at beating myself up but there came a time when I had to learn the difference between beating myself up and building myself up.  Yes, we should be aware of our faults and failures, but how we handle them and interpret them could make or break our mental state.

sad woman

See, the difference between the two is this; when you’re beating yourself up it leaves bruises, and the bruises then turn into wounds also known as “insecurities“. We start to look at ourselves as if we will never be good or we begin to dwell on the “temporary flaw” and label that as our overall failure.


Now with building yourself up you recognize where you went wrong, think about ways you can do it better the next time and then you go into the building stage by encouraging yourself to get back out there and try again. Building yourself up is all a part of character building. You’re helping to build a strong character so that you are able to mentally receive constructive criticism without taking it as an offense. On the other hand with beating yourself up, you’re not as receiving when your peers approach you with constructive criticism. Instead you mentally tell yourself that you knew you couldn’t do it from the start; you take what they said as confirmation of your failure versus fuel for your future.


So here are a few helpful tips to keep you building yourself up vs. beating yourself up:

  1. Recognize where you went wrong or your faults.
  2. Think of how you could have done it and write it down so that it’s visible.
  3. Write out a few ways in which you can do it better.
  4. Literally tell yourself that you can achieve whatever you put your mind to and remind yourself verbally that this is only building your character.
  5. Execute without holding onto past results. Don’t even consider the failure, execute as if it’s your first time!!

Now get tha building!! -BiancaLynnette

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About L.Y.F.E.chat "Love Yourself First Everyday!"

BiancaLynnette is a God fearing wife, mother of 5, Motivational Lyfe Coach & writer pushing and inspiring others to believe in themselves. L.Y.F.E. stands for Love Yourself First Everyday; this site was created to remind all of the beautiful people in the world of how important it Is to love YOU! As a busy mom of 5 I know how easy it is to get lost in the shuffle of life and how vital it is to encourage yourself! So I welcome you to join my everyday journey of LYFE! Where Loving yourself first is not just a statement, it's a LYFESTYLE!
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