Have you ever found yourself on your phone or your iPad just going from app to app and forgetting to close them out? I know I have! I always seem to forget to clear my opened apps so I end up getting frustrated when my device shows an interruption notice because its unable to function while all of those things are running. Well take a moment and imagine how dysfunctional your life can be if you have too many “opened chapters” simultaneously…
Closure is one thing we all claim to have conquered but it isn’t until we receive that interruption notice mentally, physically and or emotionally that we realize we have too many opened doors. Just like your electronic device it is very detrimental to keep clutter in your life; whether it be unfinished relationships, cluttering friendships or passed over issues that you just never dealt with…It’s not healthy, period! Deal with your past to avoid interruption in your future, because trust me, it ALWAYS comes back to haunt you!
So just in case you may have some unfinished business lingering in your World, here are a few easy steps towards closure…
First off, you need to take full responsibility for yourself. It’s ultimately up to you to take the necessary actions to help move you forward.
Try asking yourself:
- What or whom are you holding onto? Why?
- Does holding on truly make you happy, or are you hanging on to a situation the way it once was, or the way you wished it had been, instead of how it actually turned out?
- Are you using this “holding on” as an excuse to stay stuck and unresolved?
- Are you trying to avoid dealing with loss and the void that loss creates?
- If you’re willing to let go, what does that really mean? What steps will you have to take to truly let go?
- Are you afraid of not knowing what the future will be after letting go?
- Ultimately, what do you believe will happen to you if you let go?
Grieve the loss. Don’t take too much time doing this but this my friend is necessary. Now what I will say is don’t allow anyone to tell you to “just get over it”; grieving is a part of healing. Just don’t lose yourself in this step because then that’s just being stuck, still heavily invested in the past.
On the flip side prolonged or incomplete grief may contribute to making poor choices in the future. The ability to trust, to be honest, and to be your self is essential for a new, healthier relationship or situation to present itself to you. “Unfinished business” must be completed and resolved before you move on.
Gather your strengths.
- Focus on the positives. Make a list of your talents, gifts, and assets.
- Surround yourself with people who know you well, encourage and support you.
- Shift the emphasis to what you need, what makes you happy. Don’t worry about pleasing others.
- Assess where you can make positive change in your life.
- Define and affirm what you’re able to do something about now.
Closing those open chapters of your life may not be easy, but if you’re expecting a clear view for the future, it’s absolutely necessary!-BiancaLynnette