Have you ever felt like you just can’t get through to your significant other? Like you try your best to love them with all you have and it’s still not working? Guess what, you may not know his/her love language, and this maybe why the love is not getting through! Check out my experience…
While enjoying one of my favorite guilty pleasures (butter pecan ice cream) I mentioned to my husband how I really need to get back to my workout routine. He replied, “Well we both do, we should do it together.” Now the old me would have considered his response an insult because he agreed with me instead of telling me how good I look (crazy right?); but now the new me understands that this is his way of expressing his love language, which is quality time. So many potential relationships fail because a lot of people show love the way they want to receive it, not realizing this may not be the way their partner receives or shows love. My now husband and I have been together for 8 years and we’ve never really known each other’s love language. Of course we know each other inside and out but learning this one new attribute about each other has made our romance life so much better!
During one of our parenting sessions we were given a book called, “The 5 Love Languages” by Dr. Gary Chapman, which included a quick quiz to help us discover our love languages. The results were amazing! I found out that I love to receive gifts and that I appreciate acts of service more than anything (which I kind of already knew lol) but it was totally surprising to discover my husband’s love language to be touch and quality time. For years I thought he always volunteered to cook because he didn’t like my cooking, come to find out his love tank is filled from doing acts of service for me. Now we both have a new-found appreciation for each other and we both know how to fill each other’s love tank up!
Needless to say I felt it absolutely necessary to share this wonderful experience with you guys, both couples and singles. For the couples, it’s always good to know your mates love language. You may feel your relationship is totally complete, but your mate may be suffering lack of love because you don’t really know what they want from you. For my singles, it’s great to know your love language because it will make it easier to know what you want out of a potential mate; it also helps to have this advantage going into a new relationship. So here are the 5 different love languages, and don’t forget to take the test by clicking on the link listed below…
- Words of Affirmation: Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.
- Quality Time: In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.
- Receiving Gifts: Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures.
- Acts of Service: Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.
- Physical Touch: This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.
Remember, love is not a feeling…it’s a choice! So find out you and your mates love language and get back to romancing the way they want to be romanced. www.5lovelanguages.com #Lyfechat